Avoid the Horror of the Bath

There are a few times of year that a dog comes to dread.

They aren’t quite sure just what they did

But we humans have a punishment that is unnaturally cruel

One that makes their hearts stop as if they were dead.

 

One simple word is all that it takes

And dogs turn into cowards who are difficult to find

You will spend a good bit of time looking under, through, and behind

Only to find your dog suffering a terrible round of the shakes.

 

With a look of horror trying to inspire some hint of your pity

A dog’s eyes boring into your soul, pleading for you to stay your hand.

With so much feeling how can you fail to understand?

What they have done must have been bad, for the torture is cruelly witty.

 

First you make them wait in the yard or worse put them inside of a tub

Then you douse them with water that at any other time would be fun

But something about this water is compelling them to be undone.

That is when you so ironically begin to rub.

 

With something that smells not at all like a dog should

You lather them up creating bubbles with that smell.

Surely it’s torture, that it could be anything else is a hard sell.

And now your removed the good smells like dog, dirt, and wood.

 

So finding a way out of baths is clearly something that must be done

Because no one likes to be tormented by someone they love.

Once it is done they will smile as they look up above

At your pleasing face beaming like their own personal sun.

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